I left my church about a year and a half ago after experiencing depression during church services. For quite some time, I was reticent about going back to church, or even trying a different church. One week I even considered visiting a church I’d attended clear back in college, just to see what it was like. I got as far as looking at the church Web site to see the service times, and saw the topic of that week’s sermon was, “Don’t Go To Church.”
I took it as a sign.
Recently, I discovered my church Web site carries podcasts of the sermons. I decided this was a way to keep in touch with what’s going on in my church, from the safety of my own bedroom. If something about the sermon bothered me, I could always turn it off.
One of the first sermons I heard was one relating to the verse, “I am the vine, you are the branches.” It was your typical beginning of summer sermon, trying to deflect the usual summertime drop in church attendance. It wasn’t, I reminded myself, directed at me.
But, of course, I took it personally. After all, I hadn’t been attending church for a year and a half. Was I separating myself from the vine?
Jesus is speaking here, defining himself as the vine, but the minister took the liberty of applying the verse to the church. This raises the question: is the church equivalent to Christ? By separating ourselves from the church, have we separated ourselves from Christ, or only from the outward expression of our faith?
The question troubles me. I believe one of the reasons I was experiencing depression during church services is because I wasn’t sensing Christ’s presence in church. Immediately after I stopped attending church, I felt a tremendous lifting of burdens, and a sense of Christ’s compassion for me. I literally experienced Christ’s presence more directly after I left my church than while I was there.
Christians used to say, “Don’t put God in a box.” What is a church but God in a box?
I took it as a sign.
Recently, I discovered my church Web site carries podcasts of the sermons. I decided this was a way to keep in touch with what’s going on in my church, from the safety of my own bedroom. If something about the sermon bothered me, I could always turn it off.
One of the first sermons I heard was one relating to the verse, “I am the vine, you are the branches.” It was your typical beginning of summer sermon, trying to deflect the usual summertime drop in church attendance. It wasn’t, I reminded myself, directed at me.
But, of course, I took it personally. After all, I hadn’t been attending church for a year and a half. Was I separating myself from the vine?
Jesus is speaking here, defining himself as the vine, but the minister took the liberty of applying the verse to the church. This raises the question: is the church equivalent to Christ? By separating ourselves from the church, have we separated ourselves from Christ, or only from the outward expression of our faith?
The question troubles me. I believe one of the reasons I was experiencing depression during church services is because I wasn’t sensing Christ’s presence in church. Immediately after I stopped attending church, I felt a tremendous lifting of burdens, and a sense of Christ’s compassion for me. I literally experienced Christ’s presence more directly after I left my church than while I was there.
Christians used to say, “Don’t put God in a box.” What is a church but God in a box?
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